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Turning Off Your Filter Solutions
1. Take stock of your personal filter.
  • When you have a negative reaction to something your partner says, write down exactly what happened and what feelings you had at the time. After a while, look back at your entries and see if you can notice any patterns emerging. Use this information to understand how your filter is working for or against you.
2. Tackle this task together.
  • Sit down with your partner and make a commitment to not get offended when one of you is trying to explain how you are interpreting their actions or communication. Understand that this is a learning experience and you are working towards understanding each other as accurately and clearly as possibly.
3. Honesty is the best policy.
  • Be honest about how your fears may be misconstruing your feelings. Try to find a positive outlook for each of those fears to counter-balance your emotions. Letting yourself dwell on what “could be” is never conducive to a positive result or feeling. Before assuming your feelings are justified, really take a candid look at the source.
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