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Keeping The Spice Alive In Your Marriage
  • When speaking of a long-term relationship, falling in love can seem like the easy part. Once you get past "I do" and spend a few years together, however, the newness or spark of a relationship can wear off. This problem usually stems from the opinion that romance should just be present. If a person loves you, why wouldn't they want to show it? Unfortunately, relationships don't always work that way. You have to continually make your relationship something special. That means actually doing things to communicate to your partner… "Hey, you're still something special to me!"
  • So, how do you communicate to your partner how you feel without going overboard?

  • First, keep in mind that spontaneity is essential. Keeping things a mystery avoids routine boredom. Even though you may have all these great ideas for romancing your partner, don't let that become the routine either. Change how you show your affection, and you will find that your partner will become more receptive to the attention being given.

  • Suggested applications:
    • Slip suggestive love notes into their briefcase or day planner.
    • Arrange a surprise meeting somewhere just to share dessert and conversation. Tell them to meet you at a certain location at a specific time. Bring the desserts and a blanket and some drinks.
    • Camp out in your backyard.
    • Take a drive together to somewhere you've never been. Bring the camera and a journal to jot down little things you've noticed.

  • Second, love them. Don't be in love… actually love them. If you love someone, you want to be with them. You want to participate in their life. Let your partner know that you LOVE them by taking the time to ask about their day. Be available for long talks. Encourage your partner when they want to try something new. Inspire your partner to change an old habit. You're in this together… act like it and you just might be surprised at how fulfilling a marriage can actually be.

  • Suggested applications:
    • Meet for coffee and a chat once a week.
    • Go to bed a half hour early just to cuddle.
    • Mail them a card just to say you're thinking about them.

  • Last, have fun. You (hopefully) picked your best friend to be with for life. If you take yourselves and life too seriously, you're missing the point. Yes, you are going to be faced with hard times, bills, overwhelming schedules, career changes, children and more. Nevertheless, neither of you will be very satisfied with the relationship if you can't take the time to bring a little humor and fun into the mix.

  • Suggested applications:
    • Have a backwards day. Do everything in an opposite order the entire day. This works best when you share a day off.
    • Plan some type of outing at least once every two weeks; even if it's something as simple as a window shopping at the mall.
    • Have a family or couple's game night. Compete to win personally selected prizes.

  • When in doubt, remember that you're in this together. Marriage should be a lifetime commitment. That means you need to help each other keep that desire. You have to continually create that need. Yes, there will be good and bad days. Just communicate the love and the appreciation you have for each other and you'll make it through them all.
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