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Do You Have Trouble Hanging Onto Relationships?
  • I've known people who are very smart, sometimes very kind, they are not drunks or addicts, they are funny, good looking, sometimes even wealthy, and yet somehow they have great difficulty hanging onto a relationship longer than a year. They don't know why, but their loved ones keep leaving them. It hurts particularly when the person they are dating just quits talking to them.
  • You have to understand that people won't choose to be with you because you have great qualities, or because you are right and can win arguments with them. They will choose to be with you because they feel good to be around you, just as you should feel good to be around them. A relationship where both parties feel better to be around each other are the ones that bring joy to both parties and last.
  • You must first be certain you choose to date only those persons who will treat you well. Often people who do not treat others well will be very charming in the beginning. This can mislead, so to recognize a person who will treat you poorly one day, look for how they treat others now. What is their general attitude of other people? How did they treat their previous partner? How do they treat their mother, the waitress, their boss? Because if they are treating others poorly, sooner or later that is how they will treat you. Avoid all people who do not treat others well and speak well of most people.
  • To improve your relationships you should also carefully examine how you are treating your girlfriends or boyfriends. Treating someone well is about more than doing nice things for them. If you are having trouble maintaining relationships, then you would to well to consider if you are listening to what your partner is saying they need in your relationship. Many people discount what their partner is telling them and ignore the warning. But if the partner is not happy they will eventually leave and no amount of arguing or persuasion or gifts will get them to stay.
  • All your dealings with them must be completely honest. You must avoid saying things that might make them feel badly about themselves. If you said something that hurt them, being forgiven does not mean that statement or hurtful action is erased and forgotten. They must feel good to want to be around you. They must feel they can trust you, that you will respect them, listen to their needs, and care about helping them to be happy.
 
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